FallenScattered behind me like fallen leaves in the storm of what we call Fall, these memories follow me endlessly while leaving traces of what I can only assume is myself. Memories that circle around my past, give clues to my future, and let me know there is no escape. Memories that haunt my dreams and create my nightmares, all while trailing closely behind. Close enough to feel their power, far enough to create shadows that feel as if they are hovering over my head and masking my true self. The self that was once as real as the breath in my lungs and the beat in my chest. The self that these scattered memories are trying so hard to bring back. The self that he destroyed.Fallen by jamyjamj
Keep Your Enemies CloseI see you standing there,Keep Your Enemies Close by jamyjamj
trying to hide in the shadow's silhouette.
like I am,
Are you fighting invisible demons
that only make themselves seen in the night?
you don't need to be afraid.
You can come out of hiding;
I understand your pain.
I used to hide in the shadows as well.
It seemed to be the only place
where the demons couldn't find me.
But I was wrong.
The shadows are where
the demons thrive.
And eventually I saw
that they were only trying
to save me.
And if you let them.
they can save you too.
It's Okay to Break SometimesSometimes the tapeIt's Okay to Break Sometimes by jamyjamj
doesn't hold the pieces together,
the glue dries and flakes away
and leaves the rest to crumble.
Sometimes the stitching falls apart
and the seams are no longer made to be strong.
Sometimes we can't hold ourselves together
even with the strongest of bonds.
Sometimes we break.
And that's okay.
We're not meant to be perfect.
We're not meant to have it together
all of the time.
Sometimes it's okay to break.
As long as we remember
that we can always
be put back together.
Sleeveless MemoriesTime stands unsteady as the memories become sleeveless in my mind.Sleeveless Memories by jamyjamj
The daisies have popped through the snow
and your face has shown itself in the stars.
Nothing makes sense anymore since you've ventured into the unknown
and I can't cope with this reality anymore.
The amber liquids, the smoking sticks, the lucid dreaming in the dawn.
None of them can make me forget,
although I keep trying.
Those sleeveless memories shed their clothes even more
and reveal the past I try to flee.
You're not a failure for failingHer small, anxious handsYou're not a failure for failing by Tangled-Tales
grabbed the cup, a bit too large
as it slipped down and tumbled to the ground,
the milky mess covering the carpet:
her mother let out a disapproving sigh
and rolled her eyes,
“Will you ever do anything right?”
and that’s when she began
to limit her aspirations,
so that her dreams would never be too large,
so she’d never make any mistakes
she’d never again drop the cup,
but she’d never have enough to drink.
TimeSometimes what you want isn’t really what you needTime by vsyo-vremya
You never know the reasons why your heart begins to bleed
And it’s so hard to bear it when the pain’s too much to take
When every time you try it seems it’s just one more mistake
When you make it to tomorrow looking back at yesterday
Remembering the moments as they slowly fade away
There’s nothing you can do to change the way it’s come to be
And I know it’s hard to hope when there is nothing to believe
You need to know when it’s all over
You need to learn to carry on
You need to understand you can’t turn back
And know when hope is gone
You can’t change all that’s happened
You can’t make it like it was
I know it feels like the pain won’t end
But I promise you it does
But there’s a time for understanding
And a time for letting go
There’s a reason for the heartache
But there’s no way to know
When the song is over
And the road is at its end
And now I finally see-
The true face of faith that I once held so dearly
This sensation is somewhat familiar-
Thickening tears becoming entangled
I clench my trembling fists-
As a desperate prayer exits my tainted lips
Blindly lead down this beaten path
Reaching the end forces me to despise the past
Hymns of comfort have left me feeling torn
This flawed cross can't protect me anymore
I always reached for what wasn't even there
The darkness becomes clear as the light disappears
I kiss the regretful abyss / Embracing the rift I once lived
My pain and peace endlessly twist / Memories that no longer exist
You were just a well-practiced act
And you managed to slip through my hands
Let the halos and golden gates be erased
I shouldn't fall if there's no such thing as grace
It was all just a metaphor to help my mind cope
Fusing night terrors with illusions and hope
At peace within this tranquil garden,
I picture the moments where I've made you smile.
Those times are endlessly precious to me,
I think they're worth the while.
They're worth the time I've spent with you,
Even if it wasn't long.
I only wish I'd spent a little more,
Before our love was gone.
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
Tell me you see meTell me you see me...
Not the boy smiling
in the reflection of your eyes,
the green pool which
he had so readily dived into.
No, not that pathetic imitation
of joyful emotion
the authentic personification
lying at that boy's feet.
Can't you see me?
I imagine I must be there
though within the pool
of your eyes
I can only find
that deceiving mask of an individual,
from that disgusting imitation of joy.
Come you must see!
I am here!
Not the boy you see standing
but instead the boy
holding the floor
it offers me the comfort of closeness,
the boy shrouded in darkness
the obscurity that becomes him.
Tell me you see me.
Tell me you aren't bli
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
To The HeroesJustice?
I'm not sure you know what that means.
To you the very word of "justice" suggests that:
Those who do not comply are simply targets to be broken.
Those who do not agree with you, must always be denied.
Those who have the greatest freedom are chained and made to kneel.
And those who choose to fight are labeled 'incarnates of evil'.
Doesn't it all sound a little familiar?
I think it does...
So tell me, oh great hero,
Having fought monsters like me for so many years...
How does it feel to have finally become one?
Walk AwayWalk away
Let me drown
Just don’t look back
You don’t need to see
The fear I feel
Or the tears in my eyes
Let me fall
Cover your ears
You don’t need to hear
I hold within
I’m not worthy
I’m just a fool
A Pierrot faced clown
Who is so lost
And eternally alone
Forget I ever lived
Let my voice fade
Memory of my face blur
Erase my existence
Until I am gone
No don’t turn your head
Or pick up that phone
Put down that pen
Because I’m afraid
You will finally see me
For what I truly am
A sad, broken, lonely man
to get out of
of their parents-
I'm here trying
to get out of
the last magic I believe inIt's been years and I'm still here. Recycling the same sentences. Stuck in the same words. Buried in a past that doesn't quite belong to me anymore. It's funny how with enough distance nothing ever looks real anymore. It's like the way I can stand four miles from the lakefront and can still see the horizon. Clashing blues and greens. A straight line of water against an even straighter line of sky. And that's it. It's everything and it's nothing and for a little while I can pretend I'm somewhere else. Somewhere new. That I can see an entire ocean sprawled out in front of me, instead of the dirty familiar waters of Lake Michigan. I've grown up here and I've grown apart from here, but I'm stuck at the top of the hill on the corner of the street that my sister lives on and I just want to run and run and run and never look back, but that's not all there is. That's not all that's left.
It's so much bigger than that so I trace the familiar roads back to my home and I sit in my living room and
Unsaid truths and spoken hateunsaid truths and spoken hate
will forever be how I remember you.
I won't remember your petite
and deliciously sweet smile.
I won't remember the nervous way
you'd embrace me
as though my open arms
might be retracted at any moment.
I won't remember your kindness
wrought from a belief you deserved
none of what life had been willing
to bless upon you.
I won't remember how I nearly loved
every little part of you
from your crooked smirk
to your large hands
molded perfectly to fit in mine.
I will remember your cowardice
your fear of the possibility of my love.
I will remember your lies
whispered sweetly to me
in that empty library
of how you thought
we could last together.
I will remember all the embittered
and loving words
which choked me as you forced
My name is Sam. I grew up in an incredibly small town that I am so glad that I got out of. I write because that's the only thing that keeps me sane. I have a lot of thoughts that I don't always voice because I lack a thing called tact. I'm very passionate about everything that I do and I do believe that I am wise beyond my years. Any other things that you would like to know, just ask.|
Current Residence: Minnesota
Print preference: print
Favourite genre of music: punk/rock
Favourite style of art: abstract
MP3 player of choice: one that works
Favourite cartoon character: Donald Duck
Personal Quote: No one can tell you what you can and cannot do. Only you can stop your dreams from coming true.